It's Not All Sunshine and Rainbows

My experience has been amazing so far, but it's not easy. The last few days have been trying, and I wanted to be open about the difficulties as well as the "wins."

My students are adorable, but very naughty. They are academically sound, but their behavior is 235702938 times worse than my American kiddos. I have not quite been able to figure this out.

Part of the problem is that they are not allowed to go outside for recess. Inside, they cannot run or throw things. This limits their options to wrestling each other. Then come the tears, the injuries, and complaints.

They are extremely loud (because there are 41 of them!), and sometimes it can take ten minutes of class time just to establish quiet. Yesterday, I was frustrated because I literally could not make myself louder than them. During class, they often shout out answers or come up to the board to ask questions while I am teaching (though I have practiced hand raising with them again and again).

Since a glass of wine is not an option here,
one must turn to Indian chocolates.

It's difficult stepping into an environment where there is little follow-through with consequences. If a student does receive a consequence, it does not seem to impact their behavior. There is no school-wide behavior management system in place. Teachers usually deliver empty threats or make students stand during the lesson, which does nothing at all.

I made a mistake on the board during a math lesson (I was going through it so slowly I lost track of my steps!) when Sunu was observing me. I was so embarrassed! And on top of this, my host mom is having some personal issues and she has been extremely difficult to get along with. Rough day.

Here, students are not allowed to make mistakes, and especially not teachers. In fact, teachers are often shamed by the principal. If a teacher makes a mistake on a student's report card, she must buy another one for 150 rupees. When students get to 6th grade, they are only allowed to write in pen. Positive reinforcement is non-existent. 

I don't want to paint a negative picture of India, because I do love it here. I love the vibrant culture, the sharp students, and wonderful teachers. I am so engrossed in this culture I forget to step back and remember teachers have very difficult jobs. Especially in a foreign environment and perfectionist culture. 

But I counted to ten, went to yoga, prayed to MY God, cried a little, had some pineapple ice cream and tried to convince myself I am a good teacher. Tomorrow is a new day.